Tonight my ex told me on the phone that -short of two weeks after we broke up- she's found someone new. Shocked me quite a bit. I decided to get drunk, bot not alone. I went to a club of which I was certain that some guys I know would be hanging out there. Shortly after my arrival I had to face the fact, that I was the only one not there with a woman. I couldn't stand to look at the new girlfriend of one of my friends, a dark-haired, slender beauty who's exactly my type, wearing a short silvery-black dress, black overcoat, black stockings plus over-knees and boots.

So after two beers I went to another club, which was filled with younger people in their twenties, dancing as if there was no tomorrow. I felt even more out of place there, because everyone seemed to know each other, excepting myself. Out of place is what I have felt most of my life, practically everywhere, at work or with others. Where the place is that I belong I have no idea. Most people are too superficial for my taste and I am too heady for theirs, so to find friends let alone lovers was always difficult for me.

I always thought of going to the USA or Canada or some other place where English is spoken, since I love that lanuage so much and have mastered it to a degree that is -sorry if this is bragging- rare for someone to whom it is a second language. I feel quite at home in NYC for instance, where I've been twice, each time staying in the same cheap-skate but pleasant-feeling hotel in Greenwich Village. The atmosphere there is filled with individuality, music and strange people. If I will ever manage to live there and if I'd be happier there?